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“It’s not just that you’re communicating with someone online but that there is a sexual or emotional nature,” says Katherine Hertlein, Ph D, an associate professor at the University of Nevada in Las Vegas who studies online affairs.

“With the Internet, we’re moving away from just physical ideas about infidelity and acknowledging emotional infidelity.” While there is no universally accepted definition, an Internet affair frequently involves intimate chat sessions and sexually stimulating conversation or cybersex, which may include filming mutual masturbation with a Web camera.

“I think there is this bias that women don’t cheat for sexual reasons at all,” Hertlein says.

Q: I made the mistake of clicking on a little email window that popped up on my husband's computer.

He said that having sex online was harmless and a way to "get off" without breaking his marriage vows (we've been married 10 years). A: This is a situation I see more and more often as the Internet becomes a staple in homes.

Two main issues are in play here: honesty and uncommunicated expectations.

The growth in steamy chat room conversations and cybersex also has triggered a rethinking of the meaning of infidelity.

If there is no physical contact or actual sex, is it still an affair?

The internet fills a need for "more, easier and better." For the cybersex addict, increasing amounts of time are spent "surfing," downloading, creating files, masturbating, reading information posted on sexual bulletin boards, exchanging sexual information live with others in sexual chat rooms or via computer cameras, or directing their own live sex shows on interactive sites--in short, looking for what's new, what's better than last time.

My life fell apart.” Sex addiction hurts partners in a way that no other addiction can, says Paula Hall, who has written a book on the subject.

is overdue, Hall believes, with thousands of partners across the UK struggling with something that evokes all the most destructive ingredients of personal pain – betrayal, infidelity, deceit and shame.

I was more than appalled, and somewhat humored to find that there are millions of married men and women searching online for that as en.would say, premier international affair.

” was the first thing that came to mind when I discovered websites like




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